Well, at the moment it feels we have got the worst of the old world back, and few of its benefits. On the roads, you take your life in your hands because of crazed speeding motorists. You can’t go to the hairdressers, browse around shops, go to the movies, or even sit down for a coffee. We can’t go on holiday, stay a night in a B & B, or go to Birmingham. There are boring queues outside places that are open. Beaches and open spaces are full of litter, and there is a distinct, disagreeable pong of pee down by the sea front. So far, in Hastings, it has scarcely rained, although it is now cloudier, and chilly. We had about 10 drops last night… Am fed up with watering the garden. Elsewhere, America is riven with unrest, and Trump seems totally oblivious to the concerns of the protesters. Here, our so-called government seems to dig itself ever deeper into a morass of lies, contradictory data and mixed messages, while infection and death rates remain stubbornly high…

Johnson has declared himself ‘very proud’ of the UK’s performance. Oh purrleaze. Currently, the media have thrown us the dead cat of a new ‘suspect’ in what? Yes, the McCann case. For heavens sake, why are they still so obsessed with that child? Apart from that the red tops are on about how we will soon be able to take summer holidays abroad. Look, face facts. Which countries, honestly, will let our virus-infested masses enter their countries? What sane person from abroad would want to come over here, to Brexity Plague Island? What about our ridiculous quarantine, which at the time of writing, the Government were still sticking to, despite the fact that it is three months too late… Everything is aimed as low-rent as possible. Yippee, fire up the barbie! Wow, have a flutter on the horses, and watch some footie. Yay, Primark will be open soon! Great! Hit the drive-thru Maccy Dees!
I think you can gather from this that Battleaxe is not in a good mood this week. Well, you’d be right. Look at my hair. I have not seen my real colour for 30 years, and said to my hairdresser the last time I went that I’d fancy going grey… But how is it now growing in? Very dark, almost black. Most unflattering. Hardly any grey at all apart from a few straggly wisps round the front. And don’t talk to me about dentists…. I just hope and pray every day that none of my crowns and caps will fall out…
Grrr, change the subject. Yesterday I had two serious virtual meetings. I may have mentioned that I am on the committee that awards the grants for the Hastings Foreshore Trust? Well, we have our proper grant awarding meetings next week, but we had to check we could all use Microsoft Teams. Hastings Council won’t use Zoom for security reasons. Well, I’m sure all those Chinese Huawei executives would be really interested in HBC conversations about garden waste bins and public toilets on the sea front, but nevertheless, Teams it is. I had only ever used Zoom and was dreading it a bit, but it turns out Teams is just like Zoom but even clunkier. It is probably OK for people in offices using proper PCs with big screens, but most of us at home use laptops or ipads with people in the next room using all the bandwidth to watch WhatsApp videos of cats…
Then I had a Zoom meeting of the East Sussex WI Trustees, which actually went fine. Like most of us in that situation, I do enjoy peering into people’s homes…. I don’t like seeing myself on the screen though… just look at those dark roots… Self-obsessed? Moi? Never.
But let’s focus on positives. Yes, our walks still restore the soul, but also show just how fast the year is moving past us… we have been through wood anemonies, bluebells, red campion and cow-parsley, and are now into ox-eye daisies, dog roses and foxgloves.

Baking – just look at this sponge cake (half eaten before I could get the camera!)
We have had garden drinks with friends, and been round to other people’s gardens. All good.
Grand daughter in Birmingham seems to be surviving the lockdown well. She is cooking meals for her family, has currently changed her name to Mondriana and has painted their allotment shed in an appropriate pattern….
Oh Stephanie, I couldn’t help it. I laughed till I cried at some of this post. I know, I know. You’re fed up, but you’re very funny when you’re cross. I do sympathise no end, though. As for the litter and rubbish on the beach, that’s just appalling. What is wrong with people??
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Glad I made you laugh, Val!